Saturday, August 8, 2009

Page 13, Paragraph 8; Page 14, Paragraph 1 - 3

Can't believe I'm 10 pages into this fucking thing.


Page 13, Paragraph 8 (ends at the top of page 14):

I think, and there's nothing I can think of that will help me. There it stands, bigger than me, the shagfoal looking down with eyes like the sun - eyes that I can't look away from. In between her big dark forepaws, her pups crawl on their bellies, tasting and sniffing, but I can't look down from her eyes, eyes that are getting bigger and brighter; they're now so big and bright that it's like I'm surrounded by fire. They become so bright that I can't look at them - I shut my eyes now, and they're so bright that I can still see the light through my eyelids.

Page 14, Paragraph 1:

Now everything becomes strange.

Paragraph 2:

I'm not standing anymore - I'm down in the dirt behind the log, and I still see the bright light from the shagfoal's eyes through my shut eyelids. Now I open them, slowly. I'm really scared.

Paragraph 3:

The brightness is no longer from the shagfoal's eyes. The brightness is the brightness of sunrise, and I look and see that the shagfoal isn't around anymore; her pups aren't either. I stand up now, my legs all wet with piss, and walk by where I see the ghost-beasts. I bend over to look. There are no pawprints in the dirt, nor is there any other sign of them.


  1. I love it:

    "*Now* everything becomes strange."

    NOW?!? It's been a long strange trip already, with nary a dozen pages crossed. Pigs come to logs, shagfoal eyes become the sun, "where'd my foot go?", sky-beasts pissing all over everything when they're not looking down with their bright little eyes, and NOW it gets strange?

  2. What's fascinating to me is that the narrator seems to be the most freaked out by the transitions between dreaming and waking. It's like, he'll dream about his dead mother coming back as a fucking half-eaten zombie, or about a fucking hell-spawned demon dog and (relatively speaking) take it in stride, but then he wakes up and is like, "WHOA! How'd I end up on the GROUND?!?" :O